Presumably, after a night of untold drunken debauchery in an (also presumably) otherwise quiet agrarian village, six travelers who, upon meeting for (possibly) the first time in a local tavern, elected to form the “Sloppy Headed Adventuring Group,” apparently of their own free will, in order to pursue mutually beneficial mercenary and expeditionary operations. Luckily, a vagrant lawyer (apparently) was available, not only to write up the necessary paperwork to bind them in perpetuity to one another, but also to write up the contract for their group’s first gig as caravan escorts for the merchant Arjhan Donaar, who also happened to be drinking at the local tavern at the time. The terms were not terrible.
We must assume a great deal about the story of Team SHAG’s formation, as no one present seems to be able to remember what happened that night, such was the drunken chaos that (again, presumably) spawned it. We know that:
1)Grendl awoke in a well. She groped for handholds, ascended the wall with ease, and said to herself “Hair of the Dog!” and returned to the local tavern. She shot tequila and broke bread with her new employer, when Rambolina entered.
2) Rambolina awoke amongst horses in a local stable, bereft of trousers. She awoke to the sound of the stable owner informing the sheriff of her intrusion. She hopped on a horse, grabbed her trousers from their perch atop the door to another stall, and rode off. She did not wait until the horse had stopped moving to dress herself, she did it as she rode. Then, when the mid morning sun conspired with her hangover to do her discomfort, she removed her trousers, again while riding, and affixed them to her head, so that their shade might bring her comfort. She, too, made her way towards the inn, where she had eggs and drank tequila with Grendl.
3) Kyran, noble paladin of Pelor, awoke in jail with no knowledge of how he arrived there. The sheriff arrived soon after he woke, but when Kyran asked him why he had been imprisoned, the sheriff could not recall, for the sheriff was also very drunk last night. What the sheriff did know was that the vagrant lawyer imprisoned next to him never lost his memory due to drunkenness. The sheriff woke him by hurling his stick at him and, after much arguing, Kyran tricked the lawyer into revealing that the keys were swallowed by the sheriff in the night, and then coerced the sheriff to expel the keys. Once Kyran was free, he donned his plate mail and exited the sheriff’s office amid yelling and slurred insults. He elected to return to the bar, joining his comrades in breakfast. He decision not to drink tequila in the morning caused his comrades to question his manhood, though he remained resolute.
4) Rorick awoke beneath a wife whose very existence he could not recall before that morning, whose husband was sleeping next to her. He extricated himself nimbly, nay, with a degree of grace practically unheard of amongst his people. Naturally, he returned to the bar.
5) Tyffani awoke beneath a large statue of Pelor, which somehow toppled onto her in the night. With some effort, she moved the statue, escaping in time to be able to convincingly lie to the healer/priest who lived in the small worship area, before heading to the sheriff’s office to inquire about the previous night. There she found the lawyer, who informed her of her new found position within the Sloppy-Headed Adventuring Group, and their current assignment. In thanks for his services, she agreed to physically transport the vagrant lawyer to the bar.
6) Mysteriously, Rowena passed out inside a gigantic, sealed barrel of ale. After much pounding, smashing, and drinking, the cask was shattered, and she rode a wave of ale to freedom. Then, as was sensible, she led half of the adventuring party to a nearby stream to bathe.
Once the fabled Team SHAG had done what they could to recover from the previous night, they set out to Porton, as per their contractual obligation. It was nearly evening when they were beset by kobolds hurling javelins at them. They dove upon the bandits, only to realize it was a ruse when they saw numerous other kobolds running away with the goods as they battled. All the kobolds were dispatched save one, who had absconded with jewelry and some sort of magic potion.
Now, as the dark of night looms, the adventurers race after the thief, in hopes of recovering the stolen goods.